Part 2: I would be devestated if the child we adopted did not love us or consider us their real parents. So, do you see why you may get questions like this? It is a very scary thing, to put so much love into a child and have them resent you for it.
ooooh, ok. thanks for pointing that out to me (yes, i’m sorry i am being just a little sarcastic because yea, i knoooow the reasons why potential adoptive parents and adoptive parents would ask me
that, frankly its not that difficult to figure out).
but let me ask you a question. is that not the case with any child? do parents not put so much love into their biological children too? is not possible with ANY child that they also not love you or consider you their parents anymore or resent you? the answer is yes because i have seen that with plenty of children raised by their biological parents too. but do people go around asking biological children if they wished their parents hadn’t birthed them? even when those children say nothing bad about their parents at all (make note, i don’t speak poorly of my adoptive parents). hmmmmm, i wonder why not? i wonder what the difference would be between adopted people and non-adopted people that i would get asked that question in different forms many, many times (hint: i don’t always post those asks bc frankly they’re getting redundant).
ok, maybe it’s because i’m active in trying to fight for the right of poor, unmarried, brown women to raise their children (well then, perhaps i should start asking pro-choice activists if they wish their moms hadn’t birthed them???) maybe that’s why people ask consistently about if i wish i wasn’t adopted and how my parents feel about my activism
. whether you want to admit it or not, this is tied into the assumption that adoptees should be grateful to our parents and it is “devastating” for adoptive parents (who have only had good intentions and loved their children) if those adoptees grow up to be critical of the systems of oppressions that put us in those families (want to talk about devastating, imagine giving birth to a child and being forced to give it away because the rest of the world tells you it is selfish for you to raise it
the world is a complicated place. i can love my adoptive parents and still hate the corrupt system that took me from my birth mom without her permission
and made them my parents.